Greatness in smallness?

I am so small. I really need Him more than anything else.

Everytime I am reminded of the NOC events, scholarships, postgraduate studies, career, the need for referals in resumes and applications... my mind is just so overwhelmed by insufficiency that I cannot breathe. I think I still need to grow in the area of depending on Him, sufficing in Him.

Do you have a loved one who is so BIG to you yet they are actually very small people? If you think about it, many great things are usually made up with the sacrifices in the small things.

Just as one soldier's life is so insignificant compared to the millions who lose their lives but when you consider the effort of the whole war, that one soul, one small sacrifice can be considered to be the biggest in the entire war effort.

Who in your life has made that sacrifice for you? Have you "sacrificed" for yourself ever before? I know for sure that someone very GREAT sacrificed for me so that I might have life and life to the fullest. Even history can actually be considered HIS story. Amazing!

Take charge! YOU take charge of my life!

Eureka!

I have found the cause of the despair that I was going through! unbelieveable but it's exactly the same force that drives me to keep fit and to work hard! its the relentless thought of WAR! I must have thought too much about this topic and I got lost in it. everything seems so volatile and sad and life seems so cheap? what is all this rubbish amongst this peace that we are enjoying??? I thank God for revealing to me this mistake that I have.

Everything is going well for me now, an uplifting of the soul!

I am asked to consider being the SC for engin crusade, I might have agreed in my heart but not yet in person, waiting for more to be revealed to me.

Saturday was so power-packed: morning met the Gen12 team going to KZ this year, after that went to peninsular to look at some sound system and amplifiers with James. Then to church for YA service where Ps.David repeated his sermon on singlehood. rushed to holland village to meet classmates for dinner then to UCC for guitar ensemble concert with them! Sunday had basketball outreach at Bt.Batok till 3pm, then tuition then dinner then tuition again.

THANK YOU LORD!


A quote (obtained from heartlight.com) to ponder upon:

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.”
— Martin Luther King, Jr.

Amazed

I must admit that I was feeling quite miserable inside the past two weeks, an emotional, psychological and physical drain that I never experienced before. I still look and sound alright outside but on the inside, it's terrible. I cannot explain it myself.

however, as I read and as I began to dwell on the Word again, I felt a sense of relief. an immense lifting of burden that I so desire. slowly, but surely, this bad feeling will be diluted and I will stand strong inside again~! I must say that the weekend trek helped a lot as well. there were no tigers spotted and the winds were strong up there, steep terrain and leeches to go along. BUT, I had a lot of time to pray and meditate, though at some points, my mind was just: lets finish this and start eating/sleeping.

Work is getting very much better now. after two months here, I am well part of the team and the team part of me. i go to work with familiar people and no longer strangers.

Cell is not much better, I have no idea if the problem is with me, the system, or the people. I have to set time aside to pray for the cell. and my friends in KZ and my family and so many more... on top of this, I am challenged to be the SC for crusade engin region and this is not going to be easy.

Lord please show me the way.